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Consent to Treatment (6/?)
Title: Consent to Treatment (6/?)
Author: Blu (BluAlbino)
Pairing: JD/Dr. Cox
Rating: T/PG-13
Warnings: AU
Summary: Percival Cox, mental patient, is famous for driving psychologists crazy. His new shrink, Dr. Dorian, has no idea what he’s getting himself into
Disclaimer: None of it is mine… Title stolen from Blue October
Jordan sent a car to pick him up at six the next morning.
Cox stood on the steps near the front of the building, nervously eyeing the parking lot, unconsciously wringing the handle of his bag. The car, not a limo but definitely expensive, pulled in front of him and he climbed in the back seat.
“So you’re Perry Cox?” Asked the driver, as though he’d expected Cox to be taller, or drunker.
“You have a problem with that, or do I have to answer to a goddamn chauffeur now?” The driver nodded, like this was exactly the reaction he was expecting, and drove off.
Cox’s stomach was still twisting.
___
Cox got to Jordan’s apartment half an hour later. The driver took off, obviously not wanting to go near Cox’s ex-wife. Cox carried his single bag up the stairs to the third floor and went down to the second door on the right.
He could always run away. Like, now. And probably end up back in the loony bin.
Cox opened the door and stepped inside.
The first thing he saw was a bright flash of light, and heard someone yell “surprise!” After his vision returned he saw Jordan’s brother--and Cox’s best friend--Ben, holding his camera.
“Perry, you don’t look happy to see me.” Ben said, mock-sad.
“That’s cause I can’t see you, Ben. That damn camera flash blinded me.” Cox said, mock-angry.
“Will you two girls stop it already?” Jordan said, hormonal and actually angry.
“She’s mean.” Ben said, waving the developing Polaroid. Jordan had bought him a digital camera, one with a weak flash, but Ben refused to use it once he found out that his sisters could go on it and erase his pictures. Now he just stuck with his ancient Polaroid.
“Ooo, that’s a good one.” Ben said, showing Cox his picture. Cox’s eyes were half shut and his mouth was open. Very attractive. Jordan ripped it out of Ben’s hand.
“Nice, Per.” She said snarkilly. Ben retaliated by taking her picture. Jordan screamed at him and Ben stuck his tongue out before running away.
Cox grinned, tipping his head so they wouldn’t see.
___
Cox spent his first night at Jordan’s place alternately encouraging and breaking up sibling fights. He and Ben both went to sleep with handprint-shaped bruises wherever Jordan could reach. They had to keep reminding her that she couldn’t drink, no matter how pissed off she was.
Cox thought he would enjoy it there.
___
The next day Cox went with Jordan to satisfy both of their cravings for non-industrial food. Wearing jeans and shoes seemed odd to him, almost uncomfortable, after going so long without. For the first couple of hours, Cox kept tripping over his own feet.
“If you knock me over I will brain you.” Jordan told him. Cox growled at her and picked himself up. “Make sure you don’t embarrass me.” Jordan huffed, then walked off without him. They went to a restaurant where Cox ordered a cheeseburger and the greasiest fries he could get his hands on, savoring unprocessed food.
Jordan ordered a plate of chicken wings. Cox almost couldn’t finish his burger, he was too busy remembering that time he tricked a gullible shrink into going to a gay bar for chicken wings.
___
Ben moved in with him and Jordan after a week.
“To make sure you two don’t kill each other,” he said. Jordan rolled her eyes, but didn’t say no.
___
Cox and Ben were quite possibly the best support system Jordan could’ve had. They were both crazy, and that made them perfect. Jordan was crazy too.
___
After about a month, Jordan was starting to become truly terrifying in a pregnant way. Not that she wasn’t scary before, but now Cox was a little afraid of being eaten. Meaning that he and Ben were running most of the household errands; cooking, cleaning, and trying to get Jordan’s mother to stop calling for once, they could handle it.
Since Cox and Ben spent so much time on the phone, they developed a new hobby.
Tormenting telemarketers.
___
“Hello? Oh, sure, I’d love to buy toner. Do me a favor and hold, ‘kay?” Ben set the phone on the counter.
“When do you plan on picking that back up, eh Ben?” Cox asked. Ben shrugged.
“Maybe in an hour or two. It depends.” Ben walked away.
___
“Talk.” Cox said, his new and abrasive way of answering the phone.
“Hello. Is this the Sullivan residence?” Cox grinned. The guy sounded young and nervous. Perfect.
“No, this is the Stan residence.” He deadpanned.
“Oh, sorry…” The guy said, and hung up. Five minutes later, the phone rang again. Cox handed it off to Ben.
“Hello?” Ben answered. “Nope, Schmidt residence.” He handed the phone back to Cox, who then told the telemarketer that his name was Simpson; then Cox handed it back over to Ben, who had to talk to the guy for ten minutes before finally convincing him that his name was Sweeny.
“Look! I know this is the Sullivan residence and I want to talk to Perry Cox, so just put him on the damn phone!” The guy yelled in his ear. Cox almost said ‘never heard of him’ and hung up, but the voice was familiar.
“Who wants to talk to Perry Cox?” He asked.
“I’m his old doctor, John Dorian. Ask him.” Cox’s heart stopped. He put the phone to his chest and held it there for a second, then placed it back near his ear.
“He says he’s never heard of you.” Cox told Newbie. Ben’s eyebrows shot up.
“Oh. Look, he might not want to talk to me but please, I really need to say something. Can you put him on for just one second?” Dorian was almost crying.
“Sorry kid. No can do.” Cox said, and hung up. He handed the phone back to Ben and went to take a shower.
The game wasn’t quite so fun anymore.
___
Newbie started leaving messages that Cox had to delete before Ben or Jordan heard.
___
“Hey Mr. Cox, it’s me, Dr. Dorian. You left so suddenly that I-
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. And to let you know that if you need to talk to me, you can call me anytime. Actually, could you call, just so I know you got this? Thanks”
___
“Hi Mr. Cox. It’s Dr. Dorian again. Uh, I really am kinda worried about you, so could you call me back? I’d appreciate it. And on the off chance that this is the wrong number and you don’t actually live here, I’m sorry about all the voicemails.”
___
“Mr. Cox? It’s me again. You know; JD, Newbie, Carol, Priscilla and all those other names you call me. I need to talk to you, soon.
“I’m pregnant.
“Okay, no I’m not, I’m a man. But that got your attention, didn’t it? So please, please, please call me back, okay?”
___
“Perry, you know who this is. Just, please…
“Nevermind. What’s the point?”
Click.
Author: Blu (BluAlbino)
Pairing: JD/Dr. Cox
Rating: T/PG-13
Warnings: AU
Summary: Percival Cox, mental patient, is famous for driving psychologists crazy. His new shrink, Dr. Dorian, has no idea what he’s getting himself into
Disclaimer: None of it is mine… Title stolen from Blue October
Jordan sent a car to pick him up at six the next morning.
Cox stood on the steps near the front of the building, nervously eyeing the parking lot, unconsciously wringing the handle of his bag. The car, not a limo but definitely expensive, pulled in front of him and he climbed in the back seat.
“So you’re Perry Cox?” Asked the driver, as though he’d expected Cox to be taller, or drunker.
“You have a problem with that, or do I have to answer to a goddamn chauffeur now?” The driver nodded, like this was exactly the reaction he was expecting, and drove off.
Cox’s stomach was still twisting.
___
Cox got to Jordan’s apartment half an hour later. The driver took off, obviously not wanting to go near Cox’s ex-wife. Cox carried his single bag up the stairs to the third floor and went down to the second door on the right.
He could always run away. Like, now. And probably end up back in the loony bin.
Cox opened the door and stepped inside.
The first thing he saw was a bright flash of light, and heard someone yell “surprise!” After his vision returned he saw Jordan’s brother--and Cox’s best friend--Ben, holding his camera.
“Perry, you don’t look happy to see me.” Ben said, mock-sad.
“That’s cause I can’t see you, Ben. That damn camera flash blinded me.” Cox said, mock-angry.
“Will you two girls stop it already?” Jordan said, hormonal and actually angry.
“She’s mean.” Ben said, waving the developing Polaroid. Jordan had bought him a digital camera, one with a weak flash, but Ben refused to use it once he found out that his sisters could go on it and erase his pictures. Now he just stuck with his ancient Polaroid.
“Ooo, that’s a good one.” Ben said, showing Cox his picture. Cox’s eyes were half shut and his mouth was open. Very attractive. Jordan ripped it out of Ben’s hand.
“Nice, Per.” She said snarkilly. Ben retaliated by taking her picture. Jordan screamed at him and Ben stuck his tongue out before running away.
Cox grinned, tipping his head so they wouldn’t see.
___
Cox spent his first night at Jordan’s place alternately encouraging and breaking up sibling fights. He and Ben both went to sleep with handprint-shaped bruises wherever Jordan could reach. They had to keep reminding her that she couldn’t drink, no matter how pissed off she was.
Cox thought he would enjoy it there.
___
The next day Cox went with Jordan to satisfy both of their cravings for non-industrial food. Wearing jeans and shoes seemed odd to him, almost uncomfortable, after going so long without. For the first couple of hours, Cox kept tripping over his own feet.
“If you knock me over I will brain you.” Jordan told him. Cox growled at her and picked himself up. “Make sure you don’t embarrass me.” Jordan huffed, then walked off without him. They went to a restaurant where Cox ordered a cheeseburger and the greasiest fries he could get his hands on, savoring unprocessed food.
Jordan ordered a plate of chicken wings. Cox almost couldn’t finish his burger, he was too busy remembering that time he tricked a gullible shrink into going to a gay bar for chicken wings.
___
Ben moved in with him and Jordan after a week.
“To make sure you two don’t kill each other,” he said. Jordan rolled her eyes, but didn’t say no.
___
Cox and Ben were quite possibly the best support system Jordan could’ve had. They were both crazy, and that made them perfect. Jordan was crazy too.
___
After about a month, Jordan was starting to become truly terrifying in a pregnant way. Not that she wasn’t scary before, but now Cox was a little afraid of being eaten. Meaning that he and Ben were running most of the household errands; cooking, cleaning, and trying to get Jordan’s mother to stop calling for once, they could handle it.
Since Cox and Ben spent so much time on the phone, they developed a new hobby.
Tormenting telemarketers.
___
“Hello? Oh, sure, I’d love to buy toner. Do me a favor and hold, ‘kay?” Ben set the phone on the counter.
“When do you plan on picking that back up, eh Ben?” Cox asked. Ben shrugged.
“Maybe in an hour or two. It depends.” Ben walked away.
___
“Talk.” Cox said, his new and abrasive way of answering the phone.
“Hello. Is this the Sullivan residence?” Cox grinned. The guy sounded young and nervous. Perfect.
“No, this is the Stan residence.” He deadpanned.
“Oh, sorry…” The guy said, and hung up. Five minutes later, the phone rang again. Cox handed it off to Ben.
“Hello?” Ben answered. “Nope, Schmidt residence.” He handed the phone back to Cox, who then told the telemarketer that his name was Simpson; then Cox handed it back over to Ben, who had to talk to the guy for ten minutes before finally convincing him that his name was Sweeny.
“Look! I know this is the Sullivan residence and I want to talk to Perry Cox, so just put him on the damn phone!” The guy yelled in his ear. Cox almost said ‘never heard of him’ and hung up, but the voice was familiar.
“Who wants to talk to Perry Cox?” He asked.
“I’m his old doctor, John Dorian. Ask him.” Cox’s heart stopped. He put the phone to his chest and held it there for a second, then placed it back near his ear.
“He says he’s never heard of you.” Cox told Newbie. Ben’s eyebrows shot up.
“Oh. Look, he might not want to talk to me but please, I really need to say something. Can you put him on for just one second?” Dorian was almost crying.
“Sorry kid. No can do.” Cox said, and hung up. He handed the phone back to Ben and went to take a shower.
The game wasn’t quite so fun anymore.
___
Newbie started leaving messages that Cox had to delete before Ben or Jordan heard.
___
“Hey Mr. Cox, it’s me, Dr. Dorian. You left so suddenly that I-
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. And to let you know that if you need to talk to me, you can call me anytime. Actually, could you call, just so I know you got this? Thanks”
___
“Hi Mr. Cox. It’s Dr. Dorian again. Uh, I really am kinda worried about you, so could you call me back? I’d appreciate it. And on the off chance that this is the wrong number and you don’t actually live here, I’m sorry about all the voicemails.”
___
“Mr. Cox? It’s me again. You know; JD, Newbie, Carol, Priscilla and all those other names you call me. I need to talk to you, soon.
“I’m pregnant.
“Okay, no I’m not, I’m a man. But that got your attention, didn’t it? So please, please, please call me back, okay?”
___
“Perry, you know who this is. Just, please…
“Nevermind. What’s the point?”
Click.