Yeah, I'll tell you something.

I only just returned to this site today so I am very confused about all things to do with posting and reading and taking part.  I haven't even made a post in my journal yet but thought I would say hello here first.  I really have no idea if this site is very active anymore.  I haven't been on any social media in so long.  I started posting on live journal in late 2000 and posted there for many years but I don't have an account there anymore and never will return.  I've been keeping a journal on my computer offline for many years now and this has worked out ok.  I just find I am crossing a point in life where I miss communication with others.  This is my reason for returning to this site.  

My age is older in my 50s but don't let that fool you.  I've never been married or had children.  I am still very young at heart.  Much of who I am still feels like my teens in many ways.  I must say I am very confused about my sexuality unfortunately.  I consider myself feminine yet I lack the physical biology.  I don't even understand how to talk about this and put my gender identity into words.  I am sorry for that.  This is a ongoing process. 

My hobbies are slim at the moment.  I always love to write and share my thoughts in some way.  I need to write in order to get thoughts out of my head so I can be at peace for a while until more thoughts fill my mind.  I do miss emailing a friend I can trust but trust takes time.  I don't do well trying to communicate with many people.  A small group of trusted friends is preferred.  

I am looking for people who think freely and write freely.  Those who do not judge others.  I feel very sad these days from how everything seems to be overly censored.  Places like youtube for instance deleting so many channels.  I really miss how youtube was years ago when people were free to talk about anything.  I don't understand what is happening to the world these days.  I'm really struggling to write this.  It feels strange to me how I haven't posted anywhere online in so long.  I hope this will get easier over time.   

I do understand it will be hard to add me when I have no posts yet and very little info.  I just felt I am new here and thought this place was a good place to start.  Maybe once I am able to read other journals that will help me to write more on my own here.  My journal will always be locked to friends only or not sure what that is called here.  I always have a need for some privacy but not to lock everyone out.  

If you have any questions feel free to comment or send me a message.  I'm not sure if anyone can send me a message on here though.  Still so confusing until I get more settled in here.